There are many things about myself as an individual that I do not really like sometimes. And I work towards being better though sometimes my inner wrath gets the better of me. But one thing is for sure is that, I absolutely stand by my own morals and values of doing unto others what you want them to do unto you. I have a whole bunch of things in my head right now. So many things I want to do, but most of all just lie in my bed and watch running man and feel good about myself in the comfort of my own space.

I love my personal space, a lot. As much as I love my personal space in lj and my customized entries. I loathe places that are absolutely crowded and too mainstream, or is it because I am getting old? I don't think so. Please never ever ask me to go to Orchard Road on a weekend, don't ask me to take the trains during peak periods. I hate that, and I really hate it. I'm so thankful to God that I walk to work, it really is a luxury and a gift and I have to be thankful for that. My whole face turned as sour as a lemon though I unknowingly have this habit of frowning and having a boh-chap face when I go out. Its not because I'm angry or hot or that my face is perpetually fixed into a frown, I think I just unconsciously frown when walking in public or look down and away whenever someone directly looks at me maybe because if I don't tense up my face I feel chubby. Its a habit really, I like to clench my cheeks together and pretend to have sharp jawlines. (HAHA. I don't know if you can imagine that?)

Its like I've become an OCD or something, I hate people intruding into my personal space, though personal space in Singapore is relatively extremely small because of how overcrowded our population is becoming despite the declining birth rate. Anyways, yes please do me a favor, don't ever ask me to go to Orchard on a weekend. If I urgently have the need to go there, I'd probably grab what I need and head back home, that's what I usually do anyways. But in order to support my dear bestfriend, like I always say, be there for me, and I'd be there for you a thousand times over. I'd gladly be there cause I love you despite the odds, the heat and bustling crowd in Orchard Road. 

Aniways back to myself, I'm truly a straight to your face and forward person. I may filter my words as nice as possible in order to be tactful but I make sure that I get my point across. Really. Giving the benefit of the doubt, that's the way I always try to be coming up with excuses for others and for my own mistakes and flaws because I'm not perfect either. My point is that, and I'm so tired of saying this time and time again. Those who really want to be in your life, will make an effort to be in it. As humans who err, someday we all get sick and tired of certain things. Who doesn't? I do. And when I do, that's when I won't and can't be bothered anymore. 

There's no flow in this entry, but you get what I'm saying.

I think I'm jaded to so many things in my life right now. Jaded is the exact word. It doesn't describe any of the events or situation in my life like any other emotions does. Because a word for an emotion doesn't justify what you really feel inside. I'd just like time by myself, and solitude a lot nowadays, people aren't going to be there for you all the time and people disappoint you sometimes. Within my own means, I usually set my own expectations and either achieve it or disappoint myself and beat myself, my own self worth and then get over it. I do not have to worry about my heart and how others have disappointed me when I believed in them. I stopped believing in people and a lot of others things, sometimes I even lack the self belief in myself. Most of all, I guess despite it all I'm really and absolutely thankful to God, for the restored faith that he has given me to help me through and most of all the insurmountable amount of patience that He has had for me when I had gone down so many wrong paths, and for the patience that He has given me in myself now. It has helped me, lots. Patience is a good thing, whether you get what you want or not, good things or not, patience helps you breathe while faith helps you live with a purpose. 

I am definitely on a major rant as you can see.